"Arty Laz"

"Hey, I've got a GPS now, let's take a new route to the beach"

That would be the statement that changed lives my freshman year at Auburn. On Spring Break, a few of my closest friends and I were headed down a beautiful two lane charting our own course to the sunny beaches that promised good times and a break from the classroom routine we had all settled into. With our buddies already waiting for us in Destin, we were in no hurry. Jamming out to some Steve Miller, our only goal was to eventually reach the ocean when the driver and I both spotted an old man on the side of the road propped up against his 60's red Ford Truck. As we passed him I immediately turned to the driver and saw that he was already turned to me with the same enthusiastic grin on his face. We had seen the man, we had seen the truck, we had seen the torn overalls, and most importantly, we had seen his thumb. "We have got to get that guy!" we both screamed together like some gitty twin brothers. And that started the freaking out process of excitement that multiplied once the 4runner we were in, did a 180.

"Arthur," he said, as well as a man could with no teeth.

"Get in!" we all exclaimed having no doubt what God had called us to do on this deserted country road. After he licked his fingers, put out his cigarillo, and stuffed it into his shirt pocket, we were off. After determining that he was the "mechanic'n" type of mechanic, we were out of questions for the unbelievably dirty yet, somehow adorable old man. A few minutes of awkward silence down the road, and the driver(Riley Blair) spoke up. "Arthur, you look like a man with some stories to tell, you've probably fought in some wars, had some kids, and who knows what else?..." We agreed that if he told us a story, that we would take him where ever he needed to be.

"I got a story, but you ain't gon' believe it." is what we finally heard the fourth time we made him repeat himself. I quickly became the translator of his words for everyone else after this, but in the meantime we all knew what we were in for, and we were in heaven! The following is a paraphrase of what we all interpreted from his bitter beer face for the next twenty minutes:

"A couple years ago, I had me a heart attack. So, they took me down to Castlebury Medical Clinic. When I was being operated on, after another heart attack, they pronounced me dead on the table."

(We're freakin' out and lovin' it! at this point)

"Then they took me down to the morgue and put me in a metal drawer with an ice blanket to keep me from stinkin'"

(The freakout intensifies)

"Eight hours later, a morgue worker walks by and I sit up to ask her for a cup of coffee. To this day she's never come back to work."

...(chins dropped scraping the old country road for atleast a full minute of silence)

"I toldya you ain't gon' believe it."

It would all be just another crazy story from just another crazy old guy until what happens next.... We arrive at his cousin's house, and I ran to the door of the trailer still in shock from what I had heard. When a 30 something woman came out I immediately started asking her, "Your cousin Arthur told us a story about..." She cut me off and said, "About being in the morgue for over eight hours?... It's all true. Crazy, but true."