Unstoppable

To start off, I’ve had a shitty week. A one day painting project for a bitchy old lady turned into a five day project plagued with rain and irrational demands, got a superfluous 50 dollar parking ticket today, missed much class to testify against an ex-girlfriend in court, had to drive to Bham, probably bombed a test, all of my friends are out of town, and to top it off: I’ve spent my Friday night cleaning.

I say all that to say: God is good. I mean soooo good.

“I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance, and need. I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.” (cheesy maybe, but it screams truth)

That verse is not about forcing a smile while getting sucker-punched by the world. It’s about having and feeling real joy.

I love how God has beautifully orchestrated this life of mine by chocking it full of my mistakes and His blaring grace. Mistakes, any of which could’ve killed me or scarred me emotionally for the long haul, but they haven’t. I’ve got a track record that proves countless weaknesses that give God all the more glory.

Today, I’m just appreciating how every trial I’ve faced has worked to show my faults. It’s almost as if God has disciplined me as a perfect father would… funny how that works. I mean, He has drug me through some shit! (much like my mortal dad) He’s had no choice?! I’ve walked around on earth thinking I could do something amazing. I can’t describe how it feels to be utterly embarrassed for how weak and cowardly of a man I am, and come into a deeper understanding of how that knowledge makes me unstoppable.

Around the corner from disappointment is always the assurance of something much better. In Africa, I saw how much greater it is to lift Christ up and watch him do the miracles. He lets us be a part of crazy things.

I’ve bloodied my knuckles pursuing women to the point of marriage, worked hard for success in school, tried to be “cool,” I’ve tried to dress cool, work out like a cool guy, talk like a cool guy, done things to improve on my image as a cool guy, made money to fund my cool guy activities, … the list goes on. I still do these things. But at the moment that success in any of these categories is even half-way realized, it’s clear that they will not bring me one step closer to joy. Jim Carrey once said "I wish everyone could experience being rich and famous, so they'd see it wasn't the answer to anything"

It seems that the world can be a huge hamster wheel that just keeps us busy?

Whenever I come off a big failure however, it forces me to reach out to Christ. He assures me that He’s working in me and that nothing is in vain. Let’s face it, I simply don’t believe the gospel. Christ has to constantly prove it to me, so He does. He has done so again tonight.

Praise God.