If you know me at all, you probably know that I’m a bit of a dork. Especially about things like, physics or space. I’ve tutored people in physics that would tell you I’m an amazing genius. I’m not, but they would say it. I say this only to emphasize the point I’m about to make. I’m in Calculus right now. Calculus One. Not exactly higher-level math. I used to be pretty good at math, after all I almost aced Business Calculus one and two, but it’s been several years since those days. Lately, I barely make it to my 8am class and I’m lost most of the time. I’ve recently made the decision to become a mechanical engineer and I can’t understand Cal I. I mean, it’s embarrassing. This stuff should be a joke to me. I feel like a total fraud.
However, I know that I will learn the Calculus and I know that every class that this curriculum eventually throws at me (differential equations, Cal III, statics, aerodynamics, etc.), I will not only get through, but I will kick ass in. Not because I’m smart, but because I’ve realized something huge today. Could I pass “linear algebraic whatever 4820” right now? NO, but after I get through Cal I, I’ll be able to get through Cal II and then so on… My attitude is this: I’ve got to. I’m blessed beyond absolute belief to be in the position I’m in. I mean extravagantly rich in the eyes of the world. Not only rich enough to eat several meals a day and own a car, but to have professional teachers spoon feed me knowledge every time I show up. I’ll figure out this engineering thing one step at a time. At some point most people just quit. If you don’t quit, you win. It’s that simple. God will provide every single thing that I need every single step of the way. He always has. To fail, one has to make the decision to quit. I think that if people are presented with something they don’t understand they just freak out and it’s that freaking out that makes them fail. Almost like hyper-ventilating makes you pass out. I mean, just chill out and breathe normally, and you would be fine?!?! It’s just like when people are drowning and all their flailing just pulls them deeper in, when they could just calm down and virtually float. If you get overwhelmed, just bite off a little less at a time.
All of these thoughts came from a brief flashback I had today. I think that it will explain why all this self-help/motivational speaker shit is spewing out of me. When I was really young (I’m not good with ages) I had the classic Mickey Mouse watch. You know it, you love it. Those little white, Michael Jackson gloved hands pointing at the hour and the minute… I couldn’t read it. I would beg my dad to explain it to me. Then I begged my mom, and my sisters. I was freakin’ out! I didn’t get it. How could the same numbers mean different things to his different hands and how am I supposed to figure all that out in my head?! I remember crying by myself wondering, “if I can’t tell time, how am I ever gonna be smart enough to do anything else I wanna do in life?!?!?” I was convinced that I might not ever figure it out.
Removed from the situation I can laugh at myself and see how dumb that is. I think that’s what God is doing to us ALL the time.
3 comments:
"No! DO or DO NOT! There is no try."- Yoda.
I had the same mickey mouse watch. But it was broken. I wore it anyway cause I thought I was a badass when I wore it.
that's awesome. i had a mickey mouse fishing pole, i accidentally cast it into a lake. THEN CAUGHT IT WITH ANOTHER FISHING POLE YEARS LATER!! i think that's what God is telling us... catch it years later with another pole. wha?
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